Tag Archives: final

Final Destination 5 (2011)

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Final Destination 5 is the newest chapter in the Final Destination series that just won’t die. Starting out as an original idea, and devolving into a series known for it’s lack of story, and inventive kills. How does this newest one hold up?

Story follows blah , blah, blah. No one cares about who the story follows, so let’s just start with the facts that matter. On a bus headed for a company retreat, Sam has a vision of the bridge their on collapsing. Like any good FD movie, he gets some people to get off the bus, and we now how our victims for the next 70 minutes.

It seems that the rules death has to follow keep changing from movie to movie. In this one, the new thing we learn from none other than Tony Todd, once again, is that if you kill some one, you get their years, and they take your place in death. Tony Todd has a bigger role this time around, then in the last few movies, but the fact he’s back leads me to wonder. Is he moving around from town to town, or does this city just have a high rate of premonitions compared to others?

The acting this time around is at an all time low, except for a character played for laughs by David Koechner, none of the main characters in the film can act. It was almost laughable how bad some of the performances are, especially the character of Peter.

The gore this time around is on par with Final Destination 3, which is good, since it wasn’t nearly as cringe worthy in FD4. The only problem I have with the deaths in general, is how recycled they are starting to feel. We get awesome lead ups, like the eye laser gone wrong, yet it’s falling out a window that kills her? Shame on you movie.

So what can I say? If you like the series your clearly going to watch it, and as far as Final Destination goes, it’s not as bad as it could of been, but it still left me wanting more.

Score – 65%
Gore – 10/10

The Final Destination (2009)

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  So it seems we’re here again, finally. Sorry it took me so long to finish, I burned out on Final Destination faster then I thought I would. I remembered loving all the movies when I saw them. But watching them again I found myself growing bored by the end of the second. So here we are now, on the last one, ” The Final” one, even though that never stays true in horror movies, just look at Freddy’s Dead, and The Final Chapter. Shit never ends, and for some series, that’s good, but when it comes to FD, it’s just boring.

I’m a huge fan of gore, always have been, yet I find myself just bored with this movie. It could be that I’ve seen too many movies like ” Inside”, or maybe it’s just the lack of substance. There’s no shortage to the ways we can kill people, but without characters I care for, what’s the reason to watch other then to get your rocks off? The gore in this one isn’t nearly as fun as the last two were either. We have your usually decapitations, impaling, burned alive, as well as the fucking stupid ‘internal organs sucked out by a pool drain’. You got to be kidding me.

There’s really not much to say about this one, it’s lame, there’s nothing to save it really. Tune in tomorrow for the Series overview and the end of my Final Destination Marathon. That is until August.

Score – 50%
Gore – 10/10

Final Destination 3 (2006)

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 What is it about teenagers that makes us crave to see them die? Is it the way they look, the fact they think they know everything, or the simple fact that when a movie series slips away from it’s intended audience, it can always find a younger one.

So, let’s talk about Final Destination 3, or as many people know it, that roller coaster disaster movie. We went from the idea of a plane blowing up, one that had not only children, but the mentally handicapped on it, to a pile up on the highway, completely with families and pregnant women, to a roller coaster, that little kids get kicked off of. Really? Right away from that simple fact, the movie doesn’t sit right.  It’s a series about Death, how you can’t truly stop it, and how no one is safe, so let’s make this a Death Kills Teens movie now. Way to jump the shark, at least in my humble opinion.

The movie starts out at a carnival, we get introduced to our main character quickly, we know it’s her cause she’s the only one having bad feelings about the night. Before we get to the vision, we get introduced to all the other unlucky victims, the black jock, the dumb bitches, the goth kids, the pervert, etc. The problem with a movie like this just setting up stereotypes is simple, we won’t care. I can honestly say the only character I cared about was the hot goth, and she gets her face nailed.

The gore in this one is amped up yet again, having people burned alive, head’s crushed, car engines ran through heads, impaled, there’s no shortage of ways to kill people it seems. The vision of the roller coaster crash alone was quite violent, I remember being surprised by what I saw when it was in theaters, mind you mine had it rated 14a so it would get the right audience in there.

Unlike the last movie, this one doesn’t try to connect it in anyway to the other ones, except having them read about it online, to understand what’s happening, instead of figuring it out on your own like Alex had to. Also, thankfully, this one gets rid of the mini visions of what’s going to happen, and instead of having to keep an eye out for signs, they just have to look at the pictures that were taken earlier in the film. Pretty easy going in you ask me.

So with the acting, the characters, and the story of the series on a steady decline, it’s clear that if it wasn’t for the younger audience these movies wouldn’t still be getting made, yet there’s another on next month, and still another one left to review for tomorrow. Some how these movies keep coming and going, they’re talked about when they drop, then are forgotten about all over again. It makes me wonder if Final Destination is my generation’s movie series that never ends like Friday The 13th. I hope not.

Score – 65%
Gore – 10/10

 

Poll Closed – Final Destination The Winner

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I’m finally closing down the poll on the side. Final Destination was the winner, so starting tomorrow I’ll be reviewing them all, in order.

For those that don’t know, Final Destination is a series of movies about people cheating Death, and Death coming back to fix the order of live and death. They started out fresh, and over the sequels quickly became old. Join me as I talk about the decline of the series, and the how the future of it looks.