Tag Archives: alive

When remakes go unnoticed.

Posted on by
Reply

We all know about remakes. They take movies we love, make a re-telling, or a modern day version, etc. If there’s anything that can make a horror fan upset, it’s a bad remake, hell, sometimes it’s just hearing that there will be a remake. But what about when you didn’t know a film was remade and it slips through the cracks? What about when you didn’t even realize the movie you watched was a remake? Do we judge them differently the less we hear about them?

I’ve picked out four remakes that didn’t get the attention most remakes get, and I want to know, does the lack of conversation about them change the way you feel?

 Piranha.

Right now everyone is saying ” hold on a second, we all seen the Piranha remake”, and while this is true, I have to ask, did you know that Piranha 3D was the second time it was remade? This remake produced by Roger Corman in 1995 is nearly identical to the original, they just took out the humor. In fact, it is so identical, instead of shooting new special effects, they rehashed the old ones.

It’s Alive.

Not many people I know have seen Larry Cohen’s 1974 killer baby film, It’s Alive. Even less people I know have heard about the 2008 remake. The story is pretty much the same, killer baby, committing murders, etc. The only real big change is the fact the mother defends the baby in the end, instead of the father. When asked about it Larry Cohen told fans of the original, ” anyone who likes my film should cross the street and avoid seeing the new”.


Thirteen Ghosts

Thirteen Ghosts is a remake of the 1960 film, 13 Ghosts directed by  William Castle. Coming out two years after another of Castle’s film remakes ( House On Haunted Hill), this one quite a bit better. The story goes in different directions, but you’d be hard pressed to see any of Castle’s films remade with the same story. A lot bloodier and just as much fun as the original,  it seems to go under the remake radar.

Day Of The Dead

Normally when we think Day Of The Dead, we think Romero, we think shambling undead, and political undertones. This time we have fast zombies, and action heroes. There’s none of the undertones that made Romero a legend, and there’s none of the great special effects and tension that made the Dawn Of The Dead remake in 2004 so enjoyable.

Trailer Park Of Terror (2008)

Posted on by
Reply


What does drugs, Asian massage, deals with the devil, and deep fried jerky all have in common? Well that’s an easy one, they’re all at the Trailer Park Of Terror!

Trailer Park Of Terror is an odd movie, based on a comic which is more then likely odder, but I haven’t read it. It’s a movie about a zombie trailer park, filled with gore, sex, and hit or miss humor. So why don’t you sit down with me for a minute and we’ll take a look inside.

The film starts with Norma, a sweet trailer park slut trying to leave the trailer park with her boyfriend. He see’s her for the good in her, and doesn’t care about any of the rest, isn’t that sweet. But through some very witty dialog we’re shown just how shitty life is in the trailer park, since all the people in it are absolute assholes, who get her lover killed. This leads Norma to make a deal with a very well acted devil, go back to the trailer park, kill everyone, and burn it down with her inside. Ouch.

Jump forward 20-30 years, we’re following a bus of troubled teens, and their youth pastor who have the misfortune of crashing just outside of the trailer park. But wait, didn’t I just say it was burned to the ground? That’s right, I did, but it’s back. As they go to look for help they come across Norma, and the ghoulish trailer park inhabitants. Will they make it through the night, or will they never again leave the Trailer Park Of Terror?

I like this film, but just barely, it borders on the line. Now that being said, you’ll be expecting a 50ish rating, but no. The reason it borders on the line is the humor, it’s very very sexual. We’re talking hand jobs to corpses, rape, abuse, prostitution, and more, and it’s all done in a comedic way. I found some of it funny, but it really felt like they just keep throwing it at you for shock value, and I got bored of it quickly. Besides that it really is a fun movie.

There is a lot of gore in this one, but none of it is realistic. There’s your dismemberment, and people being eaten, shot etc.  But one scene did seem to stand out above the rest. One of the ghouls, is making jerky out of one of the teens, cuts off his skin, and shoves it in his mouth. The way the skin looked, was quite disgusting. That is followed up by the kid, now completely skinned, being deep fried alive.

The acting in this movie is nothing special from the teens or Norma, but the other members of the Trailer Park Of Terror ( sorry I just love that name) are acted out quite well, and are always a treat when their on the screen.  Even the guy who constantly plays guitar on the roof of his trailer. At least the songs are good.

Check this one out if your in the mood to turn your mind off, and just watch some ghouls wreck havoc on some kids.

Score – 69%
Gore – 9/10

Final Destination 3 (2006)

Posted on by
1

                                       

 What is it about teenagers that makes us crave to see them die? Is it the way they look, the fact they think they know everything, or the simple fact that when a movie series slips away from it’s intended audience, it can always find a younger one.

So, let’s talk about Final Destination 3, or as many people know it, that roller coaster disaster movie. We went from the idea of a plane blowing up, one that had not only children, but the mentally handicapped on it, to a pile up on the highway, completely with families and pregnant women, to a roller coaster, that little kids get kicked off of. Really? Right away from that simple fact, the movie doesn’t sit right.  It’s a series about Death, how you can’t truly stop it, and how no one is safe, so let’s make this a Death Kills Teens movie now. Way to jump the shark, at least in my humble opinion.

The movie starts out at a carnival, we get introduced to our main character quickly, we know it’s her cause she’s the only one having bad feelings about the night. Before we get to the vision, we get introduced to all the other unlucky victims, the black jock, the dumb bitches, the goth kids, the pervert, etc. The problem with a movie like this just setting up stereotypes is simple, we won’t care. I can honestly say the only character I cared about was the hot goth, and she gets her face nailed.

The gore in this one is amped up yet again, having people burned alive, head’s crushed, car engines ran through heads, impaled, there’s no shortage of ways to kill people it seems. The vision of the roller coaster crash alone was quite violent, I remember being surprised by what I saw when it was in theaters, mind you mine had it rated 14a so it would get the right audience in there.

Unlike the last movie, this one doesn’t try to connect it in anyway to the other ones, except having them read about it online, to understand what’s happening, instead of figuring it out on your own like Alex had to. Also, thankfully, this one gets rid of the mini visions of what’s going to happen, and instead of having to keep an eye out for signs, they just have to look at the pictures that were taken earlier in the film. Pretty easy going in you ask me.

So with the acting, the characters, and the story of the series on a steady decline, it’s clear that if it wasn’t for the younger audience these movies wouldn’t still be getting made, yet there’s another on next month, and still another one left to review for tomorrow. Some how these movies keep coming and going, they’re talked about when they drop, then are forgotten about all over again. It makes me wonder if Final Destination is my generation’s movie series that never ends like Friday The 13th. I hope not.

Score – 65%
Gore – 10/10

 

Return To Sleepaway Camp (2008)

Posted on by
2

                           

There’s nothing to be said about it. It’s just bad bad plain ol’ bad.

  It’s another sleepaway camp sequel, this time with no good characters, no good deaths, and pointlessly bringing Angela back in the end, with no idea she was there before. The movie was in fact, so bad, my mind is slowly eating away the memory of it, and I just finished.

Avoid this one like the plague, unless your like me, and need to watch everything there is.

Score – 5%
Gore – 7/10